hey all!!!
well today im gonna share with you the nightmare i had whole of last week.
my mom got me a proposal. and understand!!! :P
well, this guy happens to be the son of a relative (a very complicatedly so relation. my mom's sister's {my masi} brother inlaws nephew. cousin nephew) so yeah, its kinda complicated and a funny relation web.
so this idea stuck my mom's mind in dec 2010, to which i had clearly said a NO. and i thought mom had forgotten about it after that. but to my surprise, mom hadnt. and she again raised it after 5 months on may.
again somehow i managed to wave it off me. but this time my mom crossed all limits possible. she spoke to the relatives an also fixed the date of meeting the boy's family last week and went ahead with all the procedures without informing me or discussing it with me.
and as i have mentioned it earlier, i was always against this proposal.
you all must be wondering, WHY??????
well, the reason for me being negative since day one about this proposal was extremely simple and clear in all means possible.
still, inspite of making everything so clear my mom went ahead and spoke regarding this proposal and went ahead with a series of meetings.
meeting the family (elders------elders)
meeting the boy (my parents--------boy)
and imagine my horror, they boy's family or the boy himself hadnt seen me and were ready to get us engaged.
i, being an independent girl through out fought and fixed a meeting with he boy.
meeting the boy (the boy, his brother---------me, my uncles)
and i wont lie to u all, this meeting was just a formality.
i knew my answer! it was a NO! (At any cost)
so yeah, as soon as the NO was out..........there was this big chaos in all the 3 families.
my mom and her brother were forcing it on me and so was the mediator family.(According to them, this was the best proposal i would have got in my life. be it till date or in future)
the boys family was obviously ready (in the boys house, his grandpa decides such things and he had said a yes to me, without even meeting me ones. but bcos he had said YES, the boy had to agree).
so according to the elders the engagement was to be held on sunday. early evening!
but i, said a NO and stood adamant on my decision.
sunday morning my uncle (dad's younger cousin {whom im extremely close to} came down from mumbai only for me) and dad went to the boy house and gave them my negative answer towards this proposal.
and after an hour...i went there only to land up seeing shocked faces.
yeah, in a marwari community (one of the most conservative Indian communities) a bride or to-be-bride doesnt go to the in-laws house or to the house whr the proposal in being spoken at without any prior information or permission.
so i went there and cleared my stand, by informing them that:-
the next thing i got to hear is.......
and bcos there were still some kinda awful fights going on, i made up my mind and came to mumbai along with my uncle (who stays here with family).
and yes, im enjoying it here and also watching all the cheap fights happening back there in chennai (my home town).
not fights but arguments between the boys family, the mediator family and my family.
and trust me....the boys family disgusts me with their thoughts, beliefs and ways.
its funny to know that even in today's world we get to see such families and learn about their beliefs............its just so NOT ACCEPTABLE.
i honestly pity the girl who would later be a part of that family.
god save the girl!!!
and bless these people with some brains.
and as i had mentioned earlier......yes, bcos this was a proposal in such close internal family relations.......the relation did get bitter and a lot of abusing, accusing and taunting happened.
which obviously left no prospects of getting ok in future anytime soon.
im sure it would take a few years till all is okay......
but all i would like to say is.......its not always the kids who r wrong. at certain places the parents should realize and understand that even we have the ability to see the good/bad and think good for ourselves as well as the family in general.
we do not always stand against you, but bcos u (parents) r always genuinely worried for us (kids)........u at times do not see wat would happen if things dont work out positively. thats were v try to prove u that we r ur kids and ur upbringing hasnt gone wrong anywhr AND u can feel proud of us.
so if any parent reading this, kindly sit back and think, atleast ones when ur child stands up against u. and for all of my age/below/above.......always have a reason, valid reason to go against ur parents.
make ur parents feel proud of u. not ashamed of ur birth.
i hope u all get to learn something out of this.
take care all!!
keep smiling!!! and spread smiles.......millions of it!
well today im gonna share with you the nightmare i had whole of last week.
my mom got me a proposal. and understand!!! :P
well, this guy happens to be the son of a relative (a very complicatedly so relation. my mom's sister's {my masi} brother inlaws nephew. cousin nephew) so yeah, its kinda complicated and a funny relation web.
so this idea stuck my mom's mind in dec 2010, to which i had clearly said a NO. and i thought mom had forgotten about it after that. but to my surprise, mom hadnt. and she again raised it after 5 months on may.
again somehow i managed to wave it off me. but this time my mom crossed all limits possible. she spoke to the relatives an also fixed the date of meeting the boy's family last week and went ahead with all the procedures without informing me or discussing it with me.
and as i have mentioned it earlier, i was always against this proposal.
you all must be wondering, WHY??????
well, the reason for me being negative since day one about this proposal was extremely simple and clear in all means possible.
- this proposal was happening within the family.
- the boy wasnt mature enough to take such a big responsibility.
- he was a mom's boy (pet to his mom, and would agree to anything n everything she says).
- he wasnt financially independent.
- did not know wat kinda girl he would want as a life partner.
- was in a relationship and was being forced into a marriage with me and did not have the guts to oppose and stand up for his love.
- we did not know each other at all.
- and of all.........i did not like him or respect him for all that he was.......is.
still, inspite of making everything so clear my mom went ahead and spoke regarding this proposal and went ahead with a series of meetings.
meeting the family (elders------elders)
meeting the boy (my parents--------boy)
and imagine my horror, they boy's family or the boy himself hadnt seen me and were ready to get us engaged.
i, being an independent girl through out fought and fixed a meeting with he boy.
meeting the boy (the boy, his brother---------me, my uncles)
and i wont lie to u all, this meeting was just a formality.
i knew my answer! it was a NO! (At any cost)
so yeah, as soon as the NO was out..........there was this big chaos in all the 3 families.
my mom and her brother were forcing it on me and so was the mediator family.(According to them, this was the best proposal i would have got in my life. be it till date or in future)
the boys family was obviously ready (in the boys house, his grandpa decides such things and he had said a yes to me, without even meeting me ones. but bcos he had said YES, the boy had to agree).
so according to the elders the engagement was to be held on sunday. early evening!
but i, said a NO and stood adamant on my decision.
sunday morning my uncle (dad's younger cousin {whom im extremely close to} came down from mumbai only for me) and dad went to the boy house and gave them my negative answer towards this proposal.
and after an hour...i went there only to land up seeing shocked faces.
yeah, in a marwari community (one of the most conservative Indian communities) a bride or to-be-bride doesnt go to the in-laws house or to the house whr the proposal in being spoken at without any prior information or permission.
so i went there and cleared my stand, by informing them that:-
- the reason y i said no to ur son was, i need time to think abt him and this proposal.
- engagement is to quick a step for a life long relation and decision.
- also kindly do not assume i have any affair with someone else so im rejecting ur son.
the next thing i got to hear is.......
- the boy's family themselves rejected me.
- their reason was:- girl is to bold, not homely and might be having an affair.
- very out going.
- drinks
- smokes
- and is a lesbian. (why??????? bcos my FB albums show pics with more of girls than boys)
and bcos there were still some kinda awful fights going on, i made up my mind and came to mumbai along with my uncle (who stays here with family).
and yes, im enjoying it here and also watching all the cheap fights happening back there in chennai (my home town).
not fights but arguments between the boys family, the mediator family and my family.
and trust me....the boys family disgusts me with their thoughts, beliefs and ways.
its funny to know that even in today's world we get to see such families and learn about their beliefs............its just so NOT ACCEPTABLE.
i honestly pity the girl who would later be a part of that family.
god save the girl!!!
and bless these people with some brains.
and as i had mentioned earlier......yes, bcos this was a proposal in such close internal family relations.......the relation did get bitter and a lot of abusing, accusing and taunting happened.
which obviously left no prospects of getting ok in future anytime soon.
im sure it would take a few years till all is okay......
but all i would like to say is.......its not always the kids who r wrong. at certain places the parents should realize and understand that even we have the ability to see the good/bad and think good for ourselves as well as the family in general.
we do not always stand against you, but bcos u (parents) r always genuinely worried for us (kids)........u at times do not see wat would happen if things dont work out positively. thats were v try to prove u that we r ur kids and ur upbringing hasnt gone wrong anywhr AND u can feel proud of us.
so if any parent reading this, kindly sit back and think, atleast ones when ur child stands up against u. and for all of my age/below/above.......always have a reason, valid reason to go against ur parents.
make ur parents feel proud of u. not ashamed of ur birth.
i hope u all get to learn something out of this.
take care all!!
keep smiling!!! and spread smiles.......millions of it!
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